The best UK resources for happiness, confidence and well-being can be found on the web site of the Centre for Confidence and Well-being.
Go visit.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Taming the elephant
My mind keeps going back to a metaphor Jon Haidt uses throughout his book, The Happiness Hypothesis. Today I found an archived interview in which he discusses it. It's about 10 minutes into Part One of the CBC interview.
But this time, paying closer attention, I felt a tad helpless about steering the elephant.
But this time, paying closer attention, I felt a tad helpless about steering the elephant.
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Why Not Go Public?
Going public with your goals is one way of ensuring that you are accountable to someone.
Here's a way. All you have to do, is publish your goals on the 43 Things web site. It's brilliant. It's free. It's motivating.
Here followeth a brief Party Pooper Warning: You do need to weigh up whether this might become another diversionary tactic. Will the time you spend editing your list, or reporting on progress, or surfing to inspect your "goal twins" among other users, fill up time that you might have taken some action? Be honest now!
It's possible to "go public" discreetly just as long as you don't make your user ID and your "circumstances" too recognisable to family, friends, colleagues, and all the rest. As it involves online, you can bask privately in the encouragement and suggestions of other 43ers, especially those who share some of your goals.
Here's a way. All you have to do, is publish your goals on the 43 Things web site. It's brilliant. It's free. It's motivating.
Here followeth a brief Party Pooper Warning: You do need to weigh up whether this might become another diversionary tactic. Will the time you spend editing your list, or reporting on progress, or surfing to inspect your "goal twins" among other users, fill up time that you might have taken some action? Be honest now!
It's possible to "go public" discreetly just as long as you don't make your user ID and your "circumstances" too recognisable to family, friends, colleagues, and all the rest. As it involves online, you can bask privately in the encouragement and suggestions of other 43ers, especially those who share some of your goals.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Just a minute rules
The rules for Just a Minute would make excellent goal setting guidelines.
No hesitation
No repetition
No deviation
Update: Thisidea became a theme for my March newsletter. If you would like a copy please let me know like this: whynotwizard(youknowwhat)gmaildotcom
No hesitation
No repetition
No deviation
Update: Thisidea became a theme for my March newsletter. If you would like a copy please let me know like this: whynotwizard(youknowwhat)gmaildotcom
Friday, January 19, 2007
Change One Thing
Boots (PLC, that is) has repeated its New Year 2006 campaign and is once more urging its hapless customers, at every till point, to "change one thing".
And why not, when it clearly works?
And especially if you have been diagnosed with, or suspect you have, ADHD, it makes sense to change just one thing at a time, working on it in short spurts, modifying your behaviour in just this one respect, for the magic 21 days that psychologists say we need to "practise a behaviour" to establish it as a habit. Let's even call it a month to be sure - to allow for lapses.
For all of us, small steps may make the journey longer than taking great strides, but if we keep at it steadily, forgive ourselves for relapses and keep moving, we will get there.
What may be an issue, of course, is our impatience. We want soon. Dieting represents a certain hardship. Discipline. Self-control. Deprivation, even. We'd rather get it over as quickly as possible so we can fit into those dream jeans.
We'd all rather shed the extra weight in half the time, even though aiming for half the weight loss (a modest 400g a week instead of a kilo - a pound a week, rather than two) makes the whole dieting thing less stressful, and apparently makes it far less likely that that lost weight will start piling back on after the goal is reached.
Thus ASAP promotes the cycle of dieting, regaining, dieting, regaining.
So if you're changing one thing, change it modestly, ease into it gently. And if you wander off the path, dust yourself down; no recriminations; get back on that track and keep walking.
And why not, when it clearly works?
And especially if you have been diagnosed with, or suspect you have, ADHD, it makes sense to change just one thing at a time, working on it in short spurts, modifying your behaviour in just this one respect, for the magic 21 days that psychologists say we need to "practise a behaviour" to establish it as a habit. Let's even call it a month to be sure - to allow for lapses.
For all of us, small steps may make the journey longer than taking great strides, but if we keep at it steadily, forgive ourselves for relapses and keep moving, we will get there.
What may be an issue, of course, is our impatience. We want soon. Dieting represents a certain hardship. Discipline. Self-control. Deprivation, even. We'd rather get it over as quickly as possible so we can fit into those dream jeans.
We'd all rather shed the extra weight in half the time, even though aiming for half the weight loss (a modest 400g a week instead of a kilo - a pound a week, rather than two) makes the whole dieting thing less stressful, and apparently makes it far less likely that that lost weight will start piling back on after the goal is reached.
Thus ASAP promotes the cycle of dieting, regaining, dieting, regaining.
So if you're changing one thing, change it modestly, ease into it gently. And if you wander off the path, dust yourself down; no recriminations; get back on that track and keep walking.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Just Showing Up versus Being Prepared
I’ve just ordered another book from Amazon! (Oh January Spendthrifts...)
It’s Improv Wisdom: Don’t Prepare, Just Show Up. This book has been simmering for 20 years so not a rush job, and backed by years of reflection and experience. Its author: Patricia Ryan Madson, a respected, innovative teacher, who recently retired from full-time teaching at Stanford University. Her speciality:drama and in particular, improvisation.
[Today I put a “My Bookshelf” list in the side bar of this blog and will gradually add books which have helped me as a coach. If you click on the link, you’ll get the details.]
I’d come across an extract from the book, covering the first of (I gather) thirteen maxims: Say Yes. What I responded to immediately, here, and to a related comment was the importance of getting started. I have clients who can’t get started and I often share with them advice I got from a friend in my first year at university on how to overcome “essay block”. Just start writing.
Anyone facing this problem from freshman to doctoral student will find lots of support in Ben Dean’s free emailnewsletter: the All But Dissertation Survival Guide. Back issues are archived - this bloke is generous and smart.
I also found online the transcript of an interview Madson had had with Tom Peters.
Something in it was pointing a finger right at me! Perfect is the enemy of good.
Expanding on this, she commented: "If you relax, you'll do it right. If you've done the background work, you know the stuff." When it comes to writing my newsletter, I do what I‘ve done all morning. I find sidetracks: lots of peripheral tasks to work on instead—all of them related to my newsletter and perfectly justifiable, but at the end of my morning, there’s no newsletter.
When I do get down to writing, I’m never satisfied. I edit and re-edit.
So I now have my first challenge to myself for 2007: Bin that perfectionism.
Perfect is the enemy of good.
It’s Improv Wisdom: Don’t Prepare, Just Show Up. This book has been simmering for 20 years so not a rush job, and backed by years of reflection and experience. Its author: Patricia Ryan Madson, a respected, innovative teacher, who recently retired from full-time teaching at Stanford University. Her speciality:drama and in particular, improvisation.
[Today I put a “My Bookshelf” list in the side bar of this blog and will gradually add books which have helped me as a coach. If you click on the link, you’ll get the details.]
I’d come across an extract from the book, covering the first of (I gather) thirteen maxims: Say Yes. What I responded to immediately, here, and to a related comment was the importance of getting started. I have clients who can’t get started and I often share with them advice I got from a friend in my first year at university on how to overcome “essay block”. Just start writing.
Anyone facing this problem from freshman to doctoral student will find lots of support in Ben Dean’s free emailnewsletter: the All But Dissertation Survival Guide. Back issues are archived - this bloke is generous and smart.
I also found online the transcript of an interview Madson had had with Tom Peters.
Something in it was pointing a finger right at me! Perfect is the enemy of good.
Expanding on this, she commented: "If you relax, you'll do it right. If you've done the background work, you know the stuff." When it comes to writing my newsletter, I do what I‘ve done all morning. I find sidetracks: lots of peripheral tasks to work on instead—all of them related to my newsletter and perfectly justifiable, but at the end of my morning, there’s no newsletter.
When I do get down to writing, I’m never satisfied. I edit and re-edit.
So I now have my first challenge to myself for 2007: Bin that perfectionism.
Perfect is the enemy of good.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
How was your year then?
I switched to LBC in the car, just as James O’Brien was winding up his shift. Apparently his theme today had been Christmas Round Robins.
What he quoted from one went roughly like this:
“This year my wife’s dream finally came true and we changed all nine internal doors.”
I wasn’t about to be ROFL, well not at the wheel anyway, but I snorted. It wasn’t until I reached my destination, that the word bathos reared up from the depths where it has been languishing for a couple of decades.
And yet…and yet… Easy to sneer. That was the environment she wanted, that was her magnetic goal, which she’s now achieved. Just a pity it made it to the Round Robin.
You can listen to it, and other Robins, on today's Best of James podcast. Names were not changed to protect any sources.
What he quoted from one went roughly like this:
“This year my wife’s dream finally came true and we changed all nine internal doors.”
I wasn’t about to be ROFL, well not at the wheel anyway, but I snorted. It wasn’t until I reached my destination, that the word bathos reared up from the depths where it has been languishing for a couple of decades.
And yet…and yet… Easy to sneer. That was the environment she wanted, that was her magnetic goal, which she’s now achieved. Just a pity it made it to the Round Robin.
You can listen to it, and other Robins, on today's Best of James podcast. Names were not changed to protect any sources.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Getting into the seasonal spirit
I've just been busy checking my database so that I can contact former clients to offer them a free coaching session as a New Year treat and a bit of a booster.
The nice bit for me will be catching up with their news and it's satisfying whenever we make contact to hear about the effect of the changes they have made in their lives as a result of their coaching.
This week I've started to convert some of my favourite coaching resources into pdf files so that they can be available free for download from my website. I'm using Cute PDF, which is available free, to do this.
I have really appreciated, in starting up a business, that some outstanding programs are available free. My PC Hero Providers are, in order of seniority according to their arrival on my desktop; Zone Alarm, AVG Anti-Virus, CCleaner (running the latter restored all the missing formatting in my Blogger posts), Skype, Blogger (bless its little betasocks), a-squared Security and SpyBot. (I'm a tad worried that AVG is about to do the PC equivalent of an NHS dentist going private.)
The files I've chosen are ones that anyone can use and they're also the ones that I use myself. It may be self-defeating from the marketing perspective, but I'm looking on it as my social contribution. Even better if my PC Hero Providers download them.
Note to self: Ask the web site's designer if there's any way of tracking how many files are downloaded.
The nice bit for me will be catching up with their news and it's satisfying whenever we make contact to hear about the effect of the changes they have made in their lives as a result of their coaching.
This week I've started to convert some of my favourite coaching resources into pdf files so that they can be available free for download from my website. I'm using Cute PDF, which is available free, to do this.
I have really appreciated, in starting up a business, that some outstanding programs are available free. My PC Hero Providers are, in order of seniority according to their arrival on my desktop; Zone Alarm, AVG Anti-Virus, CCleaner (running the latter restored all the missing formatting in my Blogger posts), Skype, Blogger (bless its little betasocks), a-squared Security and SpyBot. (I'm a tad worried that AVG is about to do the PC equivalent of an NHS dentist going private.)
The files I've chosen are ones that anyone can use and they're also the ones that I use myself. It may be self-defeating from the marketing perspective, but I'm looking on it as my social contribution. Even better if my PC Hero Providers download them.
Note to self: Ask the web site's designer if there's any way of tracking how many files are downloaded.
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